Anxiety: What is it REALLY About

The word anxiety is being used more now than perhaps ever before (yay for mental health awareness on the up-rise!) but there are sooooo many different types and ways people reference it…so what is it really about?

You might already be aware that anxiety is your body’s response to something it interprets as “dangerous”: it is a rush of adrenaline to kick your body into gear to fight the source of danger or be able to run from it, but it also includes some interesting mental gymnastics to try to figure out the best way to get out of danger. The source of danger is rarely a tiger trying to eat us, but more often is a source of emotional danger…or perceived emotional danger.

Don’t get me wrong, emotional danger is very real. Human beings are wired for connection with other human beings as a part of our survival, so when we start to believe we might be “kicked out of the herd” because we aren’t good enough, the threat feels very real.

What is at the root of anxiety?

So whether your anxiety comes as overthinking, overcontrolling, anxiety attacks, OCD behaviors, or something else,At the root of it all, it can be summed up in one sh**ty belief: “I can’t handle it if…”

No matter the outward circumstances, there is a belief that says “If this thing happened, it would feel terrible and I can’t handle that…so my mind will go into overdrive to try to keep that thing from happening.” The result is continued, on-going suffering stretched out over time.

So what is the solution?

Many of us did not experience emotionally aware and grounded parenting when we were young, and this is the crucial time when both our minds and our bodies create the blueprint to guide our lives. By investing in therapy for anxiety, you learn how to actually tolerate terrible…because the reality is, sometimes terrible does happen (although most of the things that anxiety is screaming about don’t actually happen). You learn how to tap into resources you didn’t know you had—or maybe have never been taught. You learn that you don’t have to weather the storm alone, which actually helps to calm our nervous system.

And the more often this happens, the more your system starts to re-write that belief to say “I can handle it (even if it isn’t fun)”.

Healing is possible. The right therapy for anxiety helps.