Relationship Issue Therapy
It’s time to move past people-pleasing, fear of conflict, isolation & repeating patterns!
You put aside your own feelings and needs to be there for others, but eventually relationship issues will come to the surface.
You have been putting your own feelings, needs and desires aside for so long, it might feel like this is “just who you are”. It might be such an engrained pattern that you might not even be aware it is happening…until one day, you do! Whether it is your romantic relationship, family relationships, or friendships, you are realizing that things don’t feel as good as they once did. It might show up as:
You notice yourself suddenly having more resentment, frustration or anger in your relationships, even if the circumstances are the same.
You have a long history of putting other people’s needs and desires above your own.
You have a HUGE fear of conflict with the people closest to you, and will do all kinds of tap-dancing and avoiding to try and keep it from happening. Just the thought of them being upset with you gives you a sick, panicked feeling in your gut!
You notice it is hard to tune into what YOU want, let alone knowing how to speak up about it.
You find yourself giving in easily; holding boundaries with your time, space, and emotional needs feels super uncomfortable.
You seem to repeat the same dynamics in multiple relationships (aka, “Why do they always seem to leave me?”, “I seem to end up with emotionally unavailable people.”, “I am always the giver in the relationship.”)
The good news is, all of this can be changed with the right therapy.
Relationship issues can show up everywhere . It is time to start some new patterns.
You might have felt unseen and unsupported in relationships with others for your whole life and learned early on to hide your feelings behind a mask…but the mask is no longer fitting like it once did.
Your romantic relationship might have started out feeling exciting and fulfilling, but now you notice persistent tension inside yourself. It might result in a yelling match that leaves you feeling even more disconnected than before; or all of those shoved-down emotions about your relationship slowly erode whatever threads of connection you have left between you. Either way, you find yourself constantly trying to answer the questions “Will this ever get better?” or “Should I stay or go?”
The same kinds of things can show up in your relationships with your parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, and—gasp—even your children!
You might, for the first time in your life, be realizing that you don’t feel totally safe in any relationship, because you’ve never learned how to give and receive. And you’ve maybe never experienced how conflict can actually bring people closer together instead of farther apart!
Connecting with the right therapist might be the first time you experience feeling fully seen and supported, and this changes everything.
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It is finally time for YOU. You are worth the investment.
How therapy with me can help how you with relationship issues
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship. So in order to tackle relationship issues, you need to first understand how paying attention to yourself got lost. Even though you might already have knowledge, skills, and experience with helping others, you might still go into “fight-flight-or-freeze” mode when it comes to tuning into your own inner world!
Because of this, the first thing we will do is get to know each other a bit. As a relationship therapist, I’ll help you explore not only what you are experiencing now, but we’ll also chat about how you experienced life growing up. We are doing this intentionally, not because we want to just complain about the past, but rather because we want to discover where these sh**ty beliefs about yourself came from, so that we can start to re-write them!
During our sessions together, you are going to be able to experience things that you missed out on when you were growing up: a non-judgmental, curious person who welcomes all of your emotions and Parts (think of the movie Inside Out)! This is not fluff and it is not “just talking”—this is where the “rewiring” of your brain happens, as it starts learning that feeling emotions can actually be safe and people can still want to connect with you! You will learn how to do the same for yourself, the more often you experience it in session.
In addition to using Attachment Theory and being Internal Family Systems (IFS) informed, part of what sets me apart from other therapists is that I often incorporate Law of Attraction (aka manifesting) and Spiritual Reparenting (not religious) tools to help you find your confidence in your relationships quicker! You can learn more about these unique therapy options by clicking here.
As your beliefs about yourself start to change, you start to show up in all of your relationships differently. You find your voice. You hold your boundaries. You get more of your needs & desires met.
(Note: As a relationship therapist, I only work with individuals, not couples or families. I am happy to provide referrals for these, but know that the best chance of overall success stems from getting to heal yourself first.)
Therapy with me is…
A compassionate, non-judgmental space to get to know yourself in a new way
Co-creative: we’ll each come with ideas and see where it takes us
Mixed with humor, swearing, and connection
Different than other therapists, because of the energy & spiritual components to speed the healing
Therapy with me is not…
A place where you get told all of the things that are wrong with you
A rigid protocol
Me sitting there nodding with a notepad in hand (like they depict on tv)
Only learning coping strategies that you could learn on social media
Maybe you are thinking about starting therapy to help with your relationship issues…but you have some questions
How do I know if my issues are “bad enough” to justify relationship therapy?
This is a textbook example of someone who learned that their feelings, needs and desires were not important! You might have learned you only get paid attention to when things were really bad. Even if you are not “in desperate crisis”, you deserve to feel more ease and confidence than what you have been feeling.
Won’t my relationship issues just go away after my _____ circumstance goes away?
In most cases, no. What I notice with my clients is that when one circumstance goes away, another that feels a similar way seems to appear. There are lifelong patterns that have been going on, even if some of the time they were more subtle. But when you tackle the true root of the issues (what you were taught to believe about yourself), you change what you attract to you.
Can’t I just figure this out on my own by reading books, listening to podcasts, and talking with my friends?
All of these can definitely help, but…if they were enough to fix the problem, they would have already. Healing and rewiring your brain to believe different things about yourself comes from healing experiences, not just from learning new information or chatting with friends.
Is this really going to be worth the investment of time & money?
I encourage you to take an honest evaluation of the cost of NOT treating your relationship issue: how is it impacting your daily stress level? Your physical health? You children’s wellbeing? Your success at work? Guess what: all of those can have WAY BIGGER impacts on your finances and time if things get worse.
Time to Heal Yourself
Time to Heal Yourself
Scheduling VIRTUAL SESSIONS ONLY throughout Michigan
755 W Big Beaver Rd Suite 475, Troy, MI 48084